nolfin: (almost smile)
Fingolfin: *looks for that wife of his* An?
Anaire: *arranging flowers* Yes?
Fingolfin: *kisses her cheek* So what do you think? Should we remain in Gondolin a while longer, or is it time to head back to Eithel Sirion?
Anaire: *sets down the rest of the roses* The city is nice, but it would be so nice to see home once again.
Fingolfin: Of course. *takes her hand and kisses it* We can head out in the morning, if that's enough time for you to pack?
Anaire: Just a few things left to pack, I should be ready in the morning.
Fingolfin: *nods* Then I will arrange everything else for us, my love.

So An and I will be heading out in the morning. (Children! Go speak to your mother before we do.) Among the things I have to take care of was a certain rumour I'd heard about my older brother. ) And now, with that out of the way, I should go pack.
nolfin: (bitter)
Let me start by saying, that Vaire is a miserable excuse for a Valar and a liar. It's blatantly obvious that she made most of those just to try and get a reaction but threw in a few "real" ones to try and make herself seem more plausible.

For shame, Vaire. Really. If you weren't a Valar, I'd break your fingers for this.

...anyway. I've noticed something interesting about Gondolin, and consequently have a job for a couple of my knights, if any of you are interested in a new task?
nolfin: (quiet)
Although Feanor is much improved these days from the man I used to know him as, it seems we still do not agree on everything. I suppose we never will. Still, it is nice to actually have him as someone I can call "brother" and mean it.

a tale of two brothers )
nolfin: (perhaps)
Well, that's both of my sons married, now it's time to work on my daughter. Anyone interested in my Aredhel? She's lovely, single, not incestuous, likes hunting and riding, and is absolutely beautiful. You can tell she takes after her mother. (Who, I'd like to remind you is absolutely gorgeous.)

Mind, you have to win her approval, my approval, her mother's approval, and that of her brothers before you can even think of dating her (much less marriage) so you'd better be bloody incredible if you're even thinking about talking to her.
nolfin: (head tilt)
Despite certain... unpleasantness (TURGON, WHY HAVEN'T YOU RETURNED FROM THE DEAD YET!?) my eldest son is still getting married tomorrow. So I took some time to speak to him.

chat about weddings and such )

And now, though I understand the Maglor situation is currently under control, it does make me realize there are certain things in our family that need to be ...controlled. I will have to take some time to speak with Feanor on his opinions of the matter, but I think something serious will have to be done.

I am not impressed.
nolfin: (ringil)
I was watching Kanafinwe again today, taking my turn after Fingon, and the oddest thing happened...

Maglor: *tiptoes out of her room to see who's watching her*
Fingolfin: *is sitting in her parlour, knitting*
Maglor: ...Uncle Nolo?
Fingolfin: *looks up* Yes, Kanafinwe?
Maglor: *cuddles into his lap, snuggling close, as she hadn't done since being a child*
Fingolfin: *surprised at suddenly having a lapful of neph-nie-- Maglor but carefully puts his arms around her* Something wrong, Kana?
Maglor: *sniffles* Everything.
Fingolfin: What can I do? *feeling more than a little awkward but attempts to comfort*
Maglor: Hold me. You're one of the only ones who understands how dirty he is. *starts sobbing against his shoulder*
Fingolfin: *sort of knows what she's talking about* I'm sorry, Kanafinwe, I truly am. *pets*
Maglor: *just cries*

She just cried herself to sleep. Perhaps it's partly pregnancy hormones, but I know she has every right to be as upset as she is. It really made me think, though. I never tried to help her right at the time, since Kanafinwe and I have not gotten along in a few centuries, but I'm beginning to realize that perhaps she's been hurt as much by our lack of action as by what Fingon has done to her. I disowned him, and her father brutalized him, but did anyone do anything for her? I think Turgon may have done a little, but I'm not sure it was enough.

*sighs, rubbing his temples* I need to talk to An on this. And Feanor.

...and Fingon. I should speak to him about this. If Feanor and I are finally starting to make amends, we cannot have something like this splitting the family apart again. Perhaps it's time for him to prove himself by helping her? It's so foolish it may actually work.
nolfin: (perhaps)
My son (the good one, Turgon) brought me a coffee from Vardabucks for while I sit with Kanafinwe today, and it has an interesting question on the side of the cup. Since Kana seems to be doing a bit better, I thought I might take some time answer it.

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Although I'm the most popular of my brothers among the Noldorin people as a whole, I know there are many who aren't terribly fond of me. Why? I'm strict, stubborn, and have a temper. I also tend to follow through on my threats, if I make them. I'm no-nonsense. There's also the part where I break the fingers of people who lie to me.

But. I am wise, honest, and noble. I'm dedicated to my people and loyal. I'm strong and I'm moral. I'm a great warrior. I would also like to think I'm fair in my judgements. That's why I'm a good king.
nolfin: (quiet)
It's truly sad to see that all our work was for naught when Kanafinwe decided to behave again today as she had been before. So I found my brother in hopes that he would talk some sense into her. I wonder, though, could it be hormones from her pregnancy that are partially responsible for her current mood? I know An was certainly more upsettable than usual when she bore our children.

If he can't talk some sense into her, I'm not sure what we'll do.

family matters )
nolfin: (don't like that)
Bad news has caused a sudden, unexpected trip. And now I'm in Gondolin again. While it's somewhat nice to see my sons, it's a little annoying too. I need to find my brother. I should not be the one everyone runs to anytime there's a family crisis.

...then again, perhaps it's not a bad thing.

Fingolfin: *pulls Fingon aside after all the madness* You.
Fingon: Me.
catching up )
nolfin: (almost smile)
Fingolfin: *is kind of curious if Maedhros knew what was in the letters he was delivering*
Maedhros: *Nooope, but is curious >.> *
Fingolfin: *is holding a letter that explains that Turgon caught Maedhros and Artaher fighting in the chocolate fountain and sent them to him as extra hands with a request to keep them for a week or so*
Maedhros: *Would like to add "play" before "fighting" *
Fingolfin: *is highly amused*
Fingolfin: Maitimo?!
Maedhros: Yeeeeees?
housework and chat about family )
nolfin: (head tilt)
We seem to have gained some company.

Maitimo & Artaher arrive and are treated to dinner and teasing from their aunt & uncle )

Now to look over some of these letters my son sent. *has them in his office and starts reading them*
nolfin: (pleased)
An and I were going through some of the old family portraits I'd brought here today, and it got me thinking about my children when they were young.

Fingon, as a boy, was very adventurous. He was always out and about on his little "quests" and would always come home with some new cut or bruise or something. And then he discovered his older cousins. Fefe and I were still geting on, then. And four of his were older than Fingon. (Maedhros, Maglor, Celegorm, and Caranthir.) Caranthir was only a few years older than Fingon, so we all figured those two would become friends. But, no, not my son.

He started following Maedhros around everywhere. Must have been the red hair or something. I always felt bad for poor Maedhros, since his brother Maglor was already following him around and then there was my idiot boy as well. Still, it seems they became close in the end. Perhaps a little too close...

Turgon, on the other hand, was a very quiet and serious child. He liked to go off and play games on his own. Or with his cousin Finrod, as they were close in age. Some of his favourite things to do were building - with blocks when he was younger and then learning to forge once he got a bit older - and writing. He even had this strange game where he'd sit by himself with stacks of paper as if working in an office. It was very cute.

Looking back, I guess it's easy to see how they've grown up to what they are now.

And then there was Aredhel. She was more like Fingon than Turgon, always off and about, though she usually managed to stay out of trouble. Possibly because Artanis was often wither her. Also, Celegorm took a liking to her early on and often watched after the both of them when they went off. So that was always nice.

My boys, of course, took Ara's boys under their wings. Which was good considering that Ara's kids spent about 80% of their time at our house. So, yes, the Nolofinwe household in Tirion was always a loud and busy place. It's actually kind of sad how quiet Barad Eithel is in comparison. Sometimes I miss the chaos. And then I remember all the times I had to deal with a broken nose, or one of the boys lying about the other one breaking a lamp or their mother's favourite plates, and I don't miss it quite so much. ...though those were pretty bloody funny, too.

Though, I've got grandchildren now. Well. Grandchild and a future grandchild. But Idril's old enough that she might even have children soon. That's a little scary. Though it would be nice, too. A whole new generation to frighten into behaving. I can hardly wait.
nolfin: (quiet)

Pink or green?
nolfin: (pleased)
last night's chat with Fingon )

All this time, I've always had Fingon at least one of my children standing by my side. And now I leave them to their own fates. Is it that I'm sick of them or that I've finally accepted that they've grown?

Let's just hope they manage not to fuck it up. They probably will, though.

Still, there is little as nice as travelling home with your wife at your side. Well, perhaps it's not home home, but it is our home here.
nolfin: (almost smile)
I suppose things are all settled again now, aren't they? Feanor's delivered his punishment, and Fingon seems to still be alive. (All I asked for.) An's satisfied that he seems to be healing enough to take care of himself...

I think it's time for us to head back to Eithel Sirion. Yes, first thing in the morning.

We've got redecorating to finish.
nolfin: (Default)
Fingon: *pace*
Fingon: *decides to go wing it*
Fingolfin: *is curled up in a chair in his study, reading*
Fingon: *pokes head in* I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say but that's about all I can think of
Fingolfin: *doesn't look up from the book* It's a start.
a bitter peace )

Is it asking too much if I want him to prove himself a good man?
nolfin: (quiet)
Fingolfin: *wanders his way over to Feanor's workshop and knocks at the door* Brother?
Feanor's workshop doors: *shudder slightly as several stilettos thud into it*
Feanor: Sorry. Come on in.
Fingolfin: *opens the door, that eyebrow of his going up at the knives* You're a bit on edge.
Feanor: People raping my children tends to do that. *goes back to sharpening his blade*
Fingolfin: I can imagine. I'm surprised you haven't done anything about it, yet.
Feanor: I was waiting to talk to you. I don't want bad blood between us.
Fingolfin: Fair enough.
Feanor: Besides, revenge is a dish best served with a side of surprise.
Fingolfin: I think you're just dragging it out too far, though. He's not the only one suffering from your sense of suspense.
Feanor: Better that than risk a greater rift between us. I do admit I was hoping to see something akin to remorse in your son.
Fingolfin: Are you kidding? He's willing to bow before you and let you do anything you want to him.
Feanor: I still believe that given the chance to do it again, he would. And that cannot go unpunished.
Fingolfin: I agree. Do what you will. I've disowned him for a reason.
Feanor: You actually agree with me? *little half smile* pity it took something like this to do that.
Fingolfin: Certain matters of morals are more important than any differences we may have.
Feanor: ... would you like to help? I have more than enough knives
Fingolfin: I... *considers* No, it's really your right. Just don't kill the moron.
Feanor: that is not my right.
Fingolfin: Justice for wrongs against your child? Or murder?
Feanor: Murder, mostly.
Fingolfin: Ah. I can remember a time when you'd have insisted it was. *looks Feanor over* You've changed.
Feanor: I appear to have come back from the dead. I've lost everything that used to define me. Change is how I must survive now.
Fingolfin: So it seems. Perhaps there may still be a chance for a reconciliation between us, then. Eventually.
Feanor: I'd hope so. *kind of awkward smile and a pause* ...Sure you don't want a knife?
Fingolfin: I... can't. *shakes his head* I could never use a blade against my own child, disowned or not.
Feanor: I understand. Should I leave a bone or two unbroken for you? *half-joking*
Fingolfin: That's alright. Like I said, you deserve your revenge for what he did.
nolfin: (quiet)
Fingolfin: Fingon? The card thing... cute, but I don't think it really does it.
Fingon: No?
Fingolfin: Not really, no. Though it did get my attention, I suppose.
Fingon: I guess yeah
he's trying, really )

You know, I don't think I'm ever going to understand Fingon. There will always be this wall between us. I'm not even sure if I want to be able to get past it. There are things in life that simply aren't forgivable, is his way of thinking one of them? Possibly.

It kills me that I can't figure out how to get along with my own son. Although I usually blame him out loud, I fear that it may be my fault. Am I so proud that I cannot bend even a little for sake of love? What is worth more to me, my pride or my son? I chose family the last time such a debate occured, and look where it landed us. Love is dangerous, as is loyalty. But so is pride. What decision do I make?


Mar. 21st, 2008 05:58 pm
nolfin: (head tilt)
Fingolfin: Lord Namo? Would you mind my interruption?
Namo: *eyes him* You can come in, but only if you promise not to sit on my counter.
Fingolfin: Why would I sit on the counter? *steps in*
Namo: People like to sit on it, and then I can't make chocolates. *waves a hand dismissively and gets back to work* So you decided to come I see!
in which Nolfin sucks up his pride for roughly 10 minutes )

Smiling does not make things better. Fuck. Well. I hope you're happy, An. I asked just like you suggested I should. He didn't have much to suggest that we haven't already considered or tried. It's probably a lost cause.
nolfin: (bitter)
Fingolfin: I want to talk to Fingon. Now.
Fingon: Hmm?
Fingolfin: *grabs Fingon by the ear* I've spoken to your uncle.
Fingon: Do you need to drag me to him to be killed now? Ow by the way
Fingolfin: He's not planning to kill you. Eru only knows why. *tugs a little harder on that ear* Ow? Wait until your uncle finds you.
Fingon: Yeah its more like the annoying ow. Like when a bee stings you as opposed to being stabbed. Ow ow
Fingolfin: *lets go* I think you're getting off easy for this.
Fingon: Maybe. But he might have other plans
Fingon: I mean they may just want to hurt me and let me heal and repeatedly hurt me the rest of my life
Fingolfin: If you're lucky. I'll be staying in town long enough to see that whatever punishment he chooses is carried out fairly. He's sworn not to kill you, so I am holding him to that.
Fingon: That is a relief
Fingolfin: Not really. *leans in and whispers* You'd be amazed what you can live through.
Fingon: *shudder*
Fingolfin: I'm done with you, now. Get out of my sight.
Fingon: *whimper, scamper away*
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